They won't understand

It's been a few years since I moved into my own house. I live by myself. I like it. I won't have to deal with people when I'm by myself. I love being alone.

I heard that Jake and Jasmine got married and they're gonna have a baby. I haven't seen them or my other "friends" in a long time. I doubt that they would wanna be around me. I won't even talk a lot and I'll just look scared. They'll probably just tell me to "get over it" or other stuff like that and I hate it. The only one that understands is Chris.

I haven't seen Chris in a long time. He's going to college soon, so I doubt he would have time to see me. I miss him. I've never told him, but I love him. I loved him for a long time. I wanted to tell him, but I know he doesn't feel the same and I know I'll end up getting hurt again.

I wish I could control my SAD, but I can't. Tia and my parents say that I should see a psychologist, but I don't. I hate people. They just make my anxiety worse. Even if I explain it to them, they still won't really understand. I'll just stay here alone, for the rest of my life.